From Dialogue to Transformation: My Journey as a Husband, Father, and Businessman

My name is Emmanuel, and together with my wife, Grace, we live in Kigali City, Gasabo District, where we are raising our three children. Our journey has not been easy. As non-native residents of Kigali, we relied for many years on domestic work, farming for others, and any job we could find to support our family.

Grace and I started our life together in 2010. We were not in conflict, but life was full of challenges. We tried different farming and business activities—some succeeded, many failed. Each failure taught us patience, resilience, and the importance of finding solutions rather than giving up.

In 2022, inspired by Grace’s ideas and determination, we decided to establish DUHINGE ISHIMWE COMPANY LTD, with the ambition of professionalizing and expanding our farming and livestock activities. At the time, our business decisions were driven mainly by profit. We paid little attention to the wellbeing of our workers or to the challenges they faced in their daily lives.

Before the trainings, I believed that productivity mattered more than people. Pregnant and breastfeeding women were often seen as less capable, and some were dismissed simply because they worked more slowly or needed time off.

“Before, we ran our business focusing only on profits, without considering our workers.”

Everything began to change after we participated in RWAMREC’s gender equality and positive masculinity trainings. These sessions challenged my mindset and helped me understand that a business cannot grow sustainably without respect, dialogue, and inclusion.

After the trainings, we started engaging our employees differently. We sat with them, listened to their concerns, and discussed challenges they faced both at work and at home.

Our workplace slowly transformed from a rigid environment into a supportive and inclusive space. People began working with motivation, knowing that their workplace cared about their future.

Grace also experienced a powerful shift.

“After the training, I realized that pregnant and breastfeeding women are also capable. There are many tasks they can do within their capacity, and I no longer discriminate against anyone.”

This transformation did not stop at work—it deeply changed our family life. I grew up believing that household chores were only for women. Through the trainings, I learned that sharing responsibilities creates peace, unity, and development.

“I used to believe that household work was only for women, but after the training I realized that I could do it too.”

For the first time, Grace and I began making decisions together. Before, I decided alone, and Grace often kept her ideas to herself. This lack of dialogue cost us dearly. Some of our houses were damaged by heavy rains, and because decisions were made unilaterally, they remained unrepaired and unproductive.

After the trainings, we sat together, discussed our situation openly, and agreed to renovate the houses. Today, those same houses generate income and have strengthened our family’s economic stability.

“What we have achieved is the result of dialogue.”

My leadership style at work also changed. I no longer make decisions alone. I consult employees, ask what they consider urgent, and involve them in solutions. This participatory approach has improved efficiency and strengthened trust.

We also faced criticism from our community. Some people mocked me for helping my wife at home.

“Some neighbors said a man who helps his wife must have been ‘fed the porridge of submission.’”

But we continued to engage them in dialogue. Slowly, some began to understand that cooperation brings peace and development.

Beyond our household, we now support childcare centers attended by our employees’ children and provide vegetables to ensure children receive nutritious meals while their parents work.

Our message is simple.

Grace says:

“Women entrepreneurs should plan well, keep records, and organize their work carefully.”

And I add:

“Men should stop believing they are the only ones capable. Sitting together, discussing issues, and making joint decisions is what leads to positive results.”

Our journey shows that dialogue, gender equality, and collaboration can transform not only households, but businesses and communities as well.